Vegan Rice Pudding

I dedicate this recipe to all the dumb asses who think vegan food is nasty.... actually I dedicate every single one of my recipes to those dumb asses.  Yes, cheese is good.   Yes, bacon is good.  But let's face it, if you actually take the 20 seconds it takes to realize that it is fucking disgusting to consume you might have a change of heart.  Yup, it only takes 20 seconds to go vegan.  Hella easy bitches.  Give it a try!

Anyways, I fucking love rice pudding.  I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner and be as happy as a clam.  To be honest... I kinda did eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner.  What the fuck?! How am I supposed to have a big ole bowl of rice pudding in the fridge and not eat it all day.  Don't judge bitches. Here ya go...

Vegan Rice Pudding

1 cup aborio rice
1 1/2 cups water
1 can coconut milk
2 1/2 cups almond milk
3/4 sugar (I used raw sugar)
1 tablespoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch or so of salt
sliced almonds (optional)

1.  Add the rice and water to a medium saucepan and bring to a boil then turn heat to low and cook for about 20 minutes until the water is absorbed.  Add the rest of the ingredients to the rice and cook on medium low heat for 30-40 minutes stirring frequently until the mixture thickens to desired consistency.  Let cool and serve with a sprinkling of sliced almonds  and yum!

Tempeh Chorizo and Potato Taquitos

So I have been MIA, fucking sue me.  I have been busy and since I am single these days I have been eating a lot things like sandwiches and hummus for dinner (yup, straight hummus for dinner...boring!).  But as of today I am committing to one post a week so let's see if I can keep to my word.

I wasn't going to blog this but since they were super fricken ridiculously bomb I had to do it.  The idea for this recipe started with my desire to make the tempeh chorizo recipe from The Sexy Vegans new cookbook which is awesome if you don't already have it you should!  So when me and my vegan occupy cooking buddies decided to get together and cook I threw out the idea of doing something with the tempeh recipe.  I can't remember how the rest of the genius of the recipe came to be but it doesn't matter because these shits are so tasty.  It is a bit of a production so if possible it is best to make with a group.  We ate them with cashew sour cream, salsa and avocado.  Each of us ate 3.5 taquitos and felt awesomely sick (just an FYI).  And without further ado here is some deep fried goodness for your fat asses...

Chorizo Tempeh

1 8 oz packet of Tempeh
4 cloves grated garlic
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon smoked paprika
2 teaspoons dried oregano
2 tablespoons chili powder
pinch of cinnamon
salt and pepper
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 tablespoon sherry vinegar
1 cup of vegetable broth

In a large bowl, combine the tempeh and seasoning.  Mash the tempeh up with a fork.  Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and add tempeh mixture.  Cook until it gets a bit browned 5-7 minutes. Add the vinegar and cook for 1 minute then add the veggie stock.  Cover and simmer for 4-5 minutes or until liquid is almost absorbed.  Add salt and pepper to taste.

Recipe courtesy of The Sexy Vegan Cookbook

Potato Filling

2 potatoes peeled and boiled
1 tablespoon cumin
2 cloves minced garlic
salt and pepper to taste

1.  Mash all the ingredients together add salt and pepper to taste.

Taquitos

20 corn tortillas
1 recipe chorizo tempeh
1 recipe potato filling
oil for frying
toothpicks
potato and chorizo filling

1.  Add oil to large skillet till there is about a half inch of oil in the pan and heat to medium high heat.  Heat tortillas in microwave for 30 seconds so they are pliable.  Start an assembly line adding about a tablespoon of potato mixture and tablespoon of tempeh to the tortilla, roll up into a taquito and place a toothpick in the to hold them shut.

2.  Once the taquitos are rolled start frying (I fucking love frying food!!!).  The oil should be pretty hot, so I would say that the taquitos need about 45 seconds to a minute on each side or cook until lightly browned on both sides.  Place fried taquitos on a plate covered with paper towels to soak all the nasty grease up and repeat until all taquitos are fried.  Serve with accompaniments of your liking and enjoy!

Thanks for the awesome time making taquitos Emilie and James!  Until next feast:)

Homemade Seitan Cheese Steak

Fucking yum.  This was my first try at making homemade seitan and it came out pretty damn good.  I might have left it in the oven for one too many minutes which made it a little extra chewy but otherwise the recipe was good.  I sauted the seitan with onions and bell pepper, slapped it in a bun and slatthered it in a nutritional yeast sauce. 

I am now officially on the hunt for the perfect seitan recipe so if anyone has one they use send it my way:) 

Note:  You don't have to be fancy pants like me and make homemade seitan you can just buy yours at your local grocery store. 

Vegan Cheese Steak

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups thinly sliced seitan
2 bell peppers thinly sliced (I used one green and one red)
1 onion sliced
1 recipe  nutritional cheese sauce or vegan cheese of your liking
4 french bread rolls
veganaise

1.  Heat oil on medium heat in a large pan.  Add bell pepper and onion and saute until they begin to soften.  Add the seitan and cook until heated through.

2.  While the seitan mix is cooking prepare cheese sauce.

3.  Once the seitan and cheese sauce is done assemble sandwiches.  Spread a thin layer of veganaise on roll top with a healthy amount of seitan, top with cheese sauce and ase easy as that your in vegan heaven:)

Butternut Squash Coconut and Ginger Soup

So as you may have noticed I have not been blogging much and there are a few reasons for this.  One, is I was working on an application for grad school... Yup, my ghetto ass is trying to go to grad school.  Also, to keep it real my cooking attempts have been straight flops lately... but not this one...

Soup on a rainy day?... duh!  This shit is the ultimate comfort soup.  It's carby and creamy with just a touch of spice.  This soup is also hecka easy to make, except for peeling and dicing the butternut squash.  I hate doing that shit!  I am the kind of person that passes the pre-chopped veggie section of the produce with disgust, like, how fucking hard is it to cut some zuchinni and bell pepper.  But after hacking away at the huge butternut squash for an hour tonight I might rethink my butternut purchase next time.  Anyways, once you get the butternut squash chopped its a breeze.  

Butternut Squash Coconut and Ginger Soup

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 onion chopped

1 large shallot minced

2 teaspoons fresh ginger or 1 teaspoon powder

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 medium sized butternut squash peeled, seeded and diced

6 cups veggie stock

1 can coconut milk

salt and pepper

1.  Heat large stock pan to medium heat.  Add olive oil and onion and saute for 5-6 minutes until onion begin to become translucent.  Add the shallot and cook for a minute.  Then add the ginger and cayenne and cook for 30 seconds or so while continuously stirring.  

2.  Add the butternut squash, veggie stock and coconut milk to the onion mixture and bring to a boil then lower to a simmer for 30 minutes.  Once butternut squash is tender and cooked through blend with a hand blender.  Taste and adjust spices to your liking and it is ready to go.

Simple Quinou Spaghetti

Another meal low in nutritional density to sooth my slowly subsiding hang over.  I ate WAY too much of it and am totally stuffed!  Spaghetti is like the king of comfort food, it's full of carbs, rich sauce and in my version tons of processed soy meat.  I don't even know what kind of soy meat I used because my dad gave it to me to try from Costco, yes, Costco has some kind of mystery soy meat (yeah for Costco!).  It was ok, but I have had better, I like Gimme Lean soy meat personally.  This is a real easy classic recipe for spaghetti and besides the quinou pasta its nothing fancy.  I personally despise  bottled pasta sauce and highly recommend you try making your own, it is super easy and once you get the hang of it you can pretty much do anything to it.  You can start off with my simple version below and then go from there, you can add bell pepper, mushrooms, basil... whatever you like.  Give it a go...

Simple Spaghetti

2 cans of canned spaghetti sauce
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small onion chopped
6 cloves of minced garlic
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1 package soy "meat"
1 package of quinou pasta
salt and pepper

1. Bring a large pot of water to boil for the pasta, salt liberally.

2.  Heat large saucepan on medium heat and add olive oil.  Once pan is hot add onions and saute for 4-5 minutes until slightly trancluscent and add the garlic.  Cook garlic until just fragrant and add the soy "meat" to the onion mixture as per directions on package.  Once "meat" is cooked add the tomato sauce and Italian seasoning, turn to low, cover and simmer for 10-15 minutes.  While sauce is simmering add pasta to the pot of boiling water and cook per directions on package. 

3.  When pasta is done add the sauce to the pasta and top with a little parma or nutritional yeast if you like and your goo to go.

Blueberry Banana Pancakes!

Fried cake for breakfast!  Yes!  Tasty with no nutritional content is exactly what I need this morning.  Of course I added some fruit so I could lie to myself about how healthy my breakfast was today.  Pancakes are the perfect cure for overdosing on Bud Light.  I adapted this recipe from a super easy recipe on vegweb called the Best Tasting Pancakes Ever! Vegan or Otherwise...  And I will attest to that... maybe besides McDonalds... sorry but I gots to keep it real.  I don't know how the fuck Micky D's does it but from what I remember those delicate little puppies are scrumptious.  Anyways the recipe is bomb and with my adaptations a little healthier and maybe even a little more delish.

Disclaimer:  I do not endorse the consumption of any food prepared at a fast food restaurant... especially McDonalds!

Blueberry Banana Pancakes

1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup applesauce or other egg replacement
1 cup almond milk or other milk replacement
2 tablespoons coconut oil or oil of your preference
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons turbinado sugar or sweetener of your preference
blueberry
sliced banana

1.  Mix the wet ingredients and the dry ingredients separately.

2.  Begin heating pan on medium heat.  While pan is heating add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix.  If too thick add milk alternative.

3.  Grease pan with oil of your liking and drop about 1/4 cup of batter on the heated pan.  Cook until it begins to bubble on the top and add the blueberry and banana to the uncooked side of the pancake and let cook for another minute or two until the fruit is set a little ande quickly and carefully flip.  If you have not made pancakes this way before it may take some practice but even if they don't flip perfectly they will still taste good.  Cook pancake until golden brown on each side and repeat until all batter is used.

Finish with toppings of your liking and dig in.  This recipe makes about 5-6 4 inch pancakes.

ENJOY!!

Raw Valentines Strawberry Shortcake

Damn bitches I have been totally missing in action.  Well... as some of you know I have been going through the saddest break-up of my life:(  But  the depression fog is slowly starting to clear and my creativity is slowly starting to come back to me.

My eating has been all over the place where I wont eat all day then I will have seem piece of shit as meal to sooth the pain.  Well I am happy to be eating more normally and even more happy to be back to my blog.  I REALLY love cooking and blogging and feel it is my way of expressing art.... and what better way to express a broken heart than to create food with hearts in it.

Anyways, on to what you are all here for, the food!  The beautiful picture above was taken by my awesome friend Elise who had the pleasure of eating this delectable little dessert.  It is something I just threw together and didn't measure so if you are making your own and something doesn't seem right go with your gut and adjust it.  It is super easy and you can shape the "shortcake" into pretty much any shape you would like. Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum....

Raw Strawberry Shortcake

"Shortcake":
4-5 dates pitted
1 cup of walnuts
dash of salt

Cashew Cream:
1/2 cup cashews
2 tablespoons agave
water

2 pints of strawberries sliced
1 tablespoon agave

1. Mix the strawberries and the agave together and set aside.  In a food processor add the dates, walnuts and salt and mix until a course mixture is formed, the mixture should have some texture but still hold together.  To make the cashew cream add cashews and agave to blender and cover just to the top of the cashews with water.  Blend until a smooth creamy consistency is formed.

2. To assemble separate the strawberries into four dishes.  You can either crumble the shortcake on top the strawberries or shape it into whatever you wish.  Then top with cashew cream and it's ready to go.