Gluten-fucking-free Crustless Pumpkin Pie

So I took off for a month doing some crazy soul searching and guess what?  I came back the same crazy bitch.  Don't get me wrong it was life changing and I will never look at things the same way... but I am who I am and that just happens to be a crazy bitch.  Wait, I know what you are thinking, "that sucks, what was the point of taking off like that?".  It's actually an amazingly beautiful and transformational thing to be a crazy bitch and fully accept it... to love it... to radically accept yourself... crazy bitch and all.  To learn what it means to trully be in the moment both with yourself and the world around you... its easy when things are going good but the real transformation comes with sitting with the ugly and like I said earlier, radically accepting it.  So, show your inner crazy some love, maybe a little cuddle sesh with your demons or plung into the ugly and swim for a bit and see what you find, you might be suprised what a little acceptance can do.  Ok, enough Buddha talk, now on to what we're all here for, the food!

So I am finally back home and in the kitchen and does it feel fucking amazing.  My first big cooking adventure since I have been back was cooking tamales with my best vegan cooking buddy Emily.  It was epic.  I grew up making tamales... there is just something about spreading the masa in the corn husk just warms my heart:)  Anyways, I got way ahead of myself that day.  We made three kinds, two with homemade sauces.  Yeah, it was a shit load of cooking.  I could write the most beautiful heartfelt book about this glorious day but guess what?  My dumbass didnt document anything, no recipes, no pictures, no nothing... which means no blog for you beezies, sorry:(  But, I did roast a pumpkin on that very same day and had the vision of this beautiful crustless pumpkin pie.  It is actually hella better than regular pumpkin pie and guess what?  Gluten-fucking-free! Yes, so for all you wheat adversed beezies this one is for you:)

Pie Filling

1 3/4 cups or 15 oz can pumpkin

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 block firm silken tofu

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon clove
1/4 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons cornstarch

Topping

3/4 cup oats
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup chopped nuts (I used pecans and walnuts but you don't have to be as fancy as me)
2 tablespoons gluten free flour of your choice
2 tablespoons vegan butter
1/4 teaspoon salt

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Mix all the ingredients for the filling in a blender or food processor and pour into a greased 8 inch pie pan.

2.  For the topping measure everything into a bowl and use the back of a fork to mix the butter in.  It will take a minute if the butter is good and cold.  Then pour over the pie and place in the oven for about 45 minutes.

Coconut Almond Butter Granola

So those of you who know me know that I don't suck at many things (right?...) but making granola is something that I have proven time and time again to royally suck at....until I came up with this super easy scrumptious recipe.  It came to me one day as I was feinding like a crackhead for sugar after a hearty healthy lunch.  So I decided to use up the apples I had leftover from my juice fast in a healthy apple cobbler thingy.... and guess what I also suck at making apple cobbler thingies (but don't get it confused foolios I can make some bomb cobblers).

The topping I came up with was to die for, it was like the best most delicious granola I have ever tasted in my life and as most vegans, I worship granola.  It was sweet but not too sweet, hearty but not too hearty, and chunky but not too chunky and overall just perfect.  And in this process I decided that I do not suck at making granola, the recipes I used for making granola sucked and were overly difficult and loaded with too much unnecessary hippy shit (I love hippy shit but not unnecessary hippy shit).  So I gave it a go and viola the perfect easiest granola ever...

Coconut Almond Butter Granola


3 cups rolled oats
3/4 cups coconut
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup almond butter
1 cup agave or maple syrup
2 tablespoons coconut oil
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 cup chopped walnuts


1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.  In a large mixing bowl add the oats, coconut, salt and mix.  In a separate bowl add almond butter, agave, coconut, melted coconut oil and vanilla and mix until well blended.  Add the almond butter mixture to the oats and mix thoroughly.

2.  Spread mixture on a large cookie sheet and spread so it is about 1/2 inch thick and place in oven for 30-40 minutes.  Take out of oven half way through and give the granola a mix, if you like chunky give it a light mix if you don't like it chunky mix it good and it will fall apart.  Once crunchy and browned on the edges it is good to go, pull it out of the oven add the walnuts and your done!